Scientists today confirmed what many have suspected for some time: Keith Olbermann (host of Countdown on MSNBC) and Bill O’Reilly (host of The O’Reilly Factor on Fox News) are two halves of the same person, split into their Good and Evil halves by an experimental teleportation device. When the scientists who developed the device finally figured out how to re-integrate the two halves, both Olbermann and O’Reilly declined to go through the restoration process, each saying they were happy as they are. As to who is the Good half who the Evil, we’ll leave that to their viewers.