Highly Placed Sources

An Ohio Preacher calling himself Pastor John has released a statement claiming the California fires are God’s vengeance on The Golden State. “By making same-sex marriage illegal,” Pastor John said, “they are flying in the face of Jesus’ message of love. By enshrining hatred as law, they have brought the anger of the Lord and his heavenly fire down upon them.”

The Pastor’s pro-gay beliefs are the direct reverse of statements by other clerics about earlier disasters, such as when the Rev. John Hagee blamed Hurricane Katrina on the sinful actions of the City of New Orleans, saying in part that ‘God caused Hurricane Katrina to wipe out New Orleans because it had a gay pride parade the week before and was filled with sexual sin.”

When questioned by reporters Pastor John went on to say that adulterers, rather than gay people, should be prevented from marrying, or, technically, remarrying. “The Ten Commandments say nothing about homosexuality,” Pastor John states, “but God made his position on adultery clear. “Once a cheater, always a cheater, and that if you commit adultery once, you’ll do it again, spreading heartbreak and sin wherever you go.”